Let me start by saying that I have a pretty kick-ass boss. I have heard criticism from some who say they cannot see eye-to-eye with her because they cannot seem to wrap their heads around her unconventional management style. And truth-be-told, as someone who is usually able to objectively examine from almost all angles, I can see their point of view and why they might feel this way. But that is a conversation that I cannot have with them because it would ultimately end with us declaring an impasse. Yes, her management style is a little unusual. But that is why I love, admire, and respect her. She has a heart, and she is a sucker for giving people chances, sometimes more than they deserve. She has a big presence and almost no filter; she is a no-bullshit kind of person. She is a strong leader and almost always wears her strongest game face, but she gets her feelings hurt just like the rest of us. She runs an entire program with 35 employees, doing her best to hold it together while juggling corporate rhetoric, county bullshit, trying to finish school amidst other work-related training, and managing to maintain a loving and nurturing home life with her kids. Most people might say, "Yeah, okay. What makes her any different than anyone else?"
Well, she gives a fuck about her team. We aren't just numbers on a spreadsheet. We aren't just dollar signs on a report. We are living, breathing people with real world issues with which she not only empathizes, but she truly understands. And she does her best to keep our workplace as fun, silly, and relaxed as possible while making sure the work gets done.
Oh, you have purple hair? Who the hell cares? Are you doing okay with your workload? How can I help?
Oh, you have a colorful past? Don't we all?! You click with the clients and you do an awesome job. You're a badass and you are loved.
Oh, you're not happy in your position? Well, let's see if we can work around it and find a good fit for you because I believe in you and I fucking love you and I just can't imagine walking in every day and not seeing your smiling face.
The truth is, I don't make enough money to make ends meet without often going into a deficit with almost every paycheck. And honestly, I am not living beyond my means. I have cut corners everywhere. I am making a dollar more per hour in this position than I did in my last one, but with insurance and gas money (even though I carpool), it's costing me between $2-3 per hour to work there. Some people... no, several people have asked me why I don't look for something else; something closer to home that pays more and still offers affordable benefits. Well, that's an elusive trifecta that doesn't come without its own caveats. The biggest of them being the fact that I just don't see myself finding another environment that makes me feel the way I do now. Am I 100% happy and content? Well, no. But who is? But the familial dynamic at work and the way everyone comes together like a tribe when it's needed... it's unparalleled. And that is really hard to find. Maybe you agree; maybe you don't agree. But when you spend forty hours a week in what is basically a second home with what is basically a second family, it should feel like one. And you should feel like you are part of one and not just a warm body filling a seat.
That's how our manager makes us feel. Well, I speak for me, mostly. But I know for a fact that this sentiment is mirrored by more than a few of my comrades. And this is why I choose to stay where I am and strive to utilize a couple of side hustles to generate a little extra income. At least, for now. But I digress...
I enjoy my one-on-one chats with the boss lady when we can manage to make them happen. She's a busy woman, so they are few, but always cherished. She mentioned something pretty significant to me around the first of the year, and it has stuck with me and has become a basis for almost every resolve I have conjured since it came up. I'm sure you have noticed how some people seem to mysteriously find a newly renewed ball of motivation and enthusiasm toward the end of each year that carries over with them as they segue into the next one. You've noticed that, haven't you? I mean, maybe you're one of them; I know I have been one of them for as long as I can remember. During that "taint" week of the year when 'taint Christmas and 'taint yet the new year, it's always, "I'm going to work on this" and "I'm going to get better at focusing more on this and less on that." Right? You know the spiel. The one where we try to sell ourselves on some lengthy list of reasons why we haven't lived our best lives up to this point, but now we have a brand new opportunity to "start over" and "make amends" to ourselves by finally "doing the right thing, making a plan, sticking to it, and making next year our year." Yeah yeah, yadda yadda.
😝Pthbtpthbtpthbt.😝
Those are typically (and historically) known as resolutions. Well, my boss says those don't work. And she's pretty fuggin' smart. And she says we should be setting intentions, instead. My takeaway is that resolutions cause more anxiety because people seem to set them based on what stresses them out the most. When we think about the things that we know we haven't done, but we know we need to do them because putting those wheels in motion or getting those things out of the way will somehow better our circumstances and change how we are living our dash, it gives us an often temporary sense of motivation. Rarely does it last more than a month or two. And then we beat ourselves up when we don't accomplish one or more of them.
But if we set intentions, we tend to change how we see the goals we are setting for ourselves. We tend to make them more realistic and seem to do better at reaching them because, for some strange reason, intentions make us feel less anxious than resolutions and therefore cause us to take a more relaxed (not to be confused with lackadaisical) approach to getting around to them. They become more like checklist items and less like graded assignments. I don't know... the way she explained it sounded way better and more concise. And typing this out, I can see where I might be missing that one something that really drives the point home. But I know in my head, it made perfect sense when she said it and it makes perfect since to me even still in this moment. Hopefully, I am conveying some degree of awareness that is causing you to nod your head in agreement rather than shaking your head because of the time you have wasted reading this nonsense. I mean, it really could go either way.
Amidst all of this, I have come to realize that the biggest and most common reason that people feel the need to create resolutions or intentions in the first place is...
can anyone guess?
Come on; take a stab at it. I bet you can do it if you really think about it. Anyone?
Bueller?
Bueller?
Okay, I'll say it for you. But you have to say it with me, okay?
It's called teamwork, peeps. Participation. It's a thing. Let's do it.
Ready?
Okay.
Here we go!
One... two... three...
.
.
.
.
.
Procrastination.
See? That wasn't so hard, was it? I mean, I say that now. But seriously, procrastination is THE single most talented culprit responsible for us feeling like we are always behind in life. I can whine and make excuses all day long for why I am not seeing the results I want with my health and weight management goals. But realistically, why am I not seeing those results? Did the doctors tell me not to exercise? Noooo. Do the people who stock the shelves at the stores purposefully hide all the nutritional foods that I need to bring my goals to fruition? Noooo. Does the ghost following me around everywhere keep me from making a list and checking it off? Noooo. So what's stopping me?
Well, I am.
Folks, I am so GOOD at procrastination that I have even been procrastinating with my intention to stop procrastinating. I mean, come on... not exactly the kind of legacy I want to leave behind. Ya know?
That's where discipline rears its pesky little head. I need to hold myself accountable. And that means accountable for all of my goals, not just my weight management. It's no one else's fault that I keep making the same "resolutions" every year. It's mine. Juuuust mine. I just need to get off my ass, stop making excuses, take better care of myself so I am not always tired, start managing my off-hours better so I am not always so pressed for time, and push myself to do things even when I know I don't feel like it. Everything has either a consequence, a reward, or both.
By the way, if you have made it this far, congratulations. You must have either a boring life or nothing better to do today than sit and absorb my ramblings. Either way, you're a big bowl of awesomesauce and I love and appreciate you for caring enough to indulge me.
So peeps, I guess the moral of this long and winding story is this:
When you have the option to either:
(A) Procrastinate
(B) Not procrastinate
(C) Set obtainable resolutions but then procrastinate and stress about not executing them
(D) Make a list of realistic intentions and work comfortably-yet-diligently to bring them to life and not beat yourself up if it doesn't happen;
Always choose to just close your eyes, place your finger on a random place on a map, and then disappear there and tell the world to eat a turd. 😋
No, don't do that.
Seriously.
Choose D.
Because my boss said so.
💖 T
Well, she gives a fuck about her team. We aren't just numbers on a spreadsheet. We aren't just dollar signs on a report. We are living, breathing people with real world issues with which she not only empathizes, but she truly understands. And she does her best to keep our workplace as fun, silly, and relaxed as possible while making sure the work gets done.
Oh, you have purple hair? Who the hell cares? Are you doing okay with your workload? How can I help?
Oh, you have a colorful past? Don't we all?! You click with the clients and you do an awesome job. You're a badass and you are loved.
Oh, you're not happy in your position? Well, let's see if we can work around it and find a good fit for you because I believe in you and I fucking love you and I just can't imagine walking in every day and not seeing your smiling face.
The truth is, I don't make enough money to make ends meet without often going into a deficit with almost every paycheck. And honestly, I am not living beyond my means. I have cut corners everywhere. I am making a dollar more per hour in this position than I did in my last one, but with insurance and gas money (even though I carpool), it's costing me between $2-3 per hour to work there. Some people... no, several people have asked me why I don't look for something else; something closer to home that pays more and still offers affordable benefits. Well, that's an elusive trifecta that doesn't come without its own caveats. The biggest of them being the fact that I just don't see myself finding another environment that makes me feel the way I do now. Am I 100% happy and content? Well, no. But who is? But the familial dynamic at work and the way everyone comes together like a tribe when it's needed... it's unparalleled. And that is really hard to find. Maybe you agree; maybe you don't agree. But when you spend forty hours a week in what is basically a second home with what is basically a second family, it should feel like one. And you should feel like you are part of one and not just a warm body filling a seat.
That's how our manager makes us feel. Well, I speak for me, mostly. But I know for a fact that this sentiment is mirrored by more than a few of my comrades. And this is why I choose to stay where I am and strive to utilize a couple of side hustles to generate a little extra income. At least, for now. But I digress...
I enjoy my one-on-one chats with the boss lady when we can manage to make them happen. She's a busy woman, so they are few, but always cherished. She mentioned something pretty significant to me around the first of the year, and it has stuck with me and has become a basis for almost every resolve I have conjured since it came up. I'm sure you have noticed how some people seem to mysteriously find a newly renewed ball of motivation and enthusiasm toward the end of each year that carries over with them as they segue into the next one. You've noticed that, haven't you? I mean, maybe you're one of them; I know I have been one of them for as long as I can remember. During that "taint" week of the year when 'taint Christmas and 'taint yet the new year, it's always, "I'm going to work on this" and "I'm going to get better at focusing more on this and less on that." Right? You know the spiel. The one where we try to sell ourselves on some lengthy list of reasons why we haven't lived our best lives up to this point, but now we have a brand new opportunity to "start over" and "make amends" to ourselves by finally "doing the right thing, making a plan, sticking to it, and making next year our year." Yeah yeah, yadda yadda.
😝Pthbtpthbtpthbt.😝
Those are typically (and historically) known as resolutions. Well, my boss says those don't work. And she's pretty fuggin' smart. And she says we should be setting intentions, instead. My takeaway is that resolutions cause more anxiety because people seem to set them based on what stresses them out the most. When we think about the things that we know we haven't done, but we know we need to do them because putting those wheels in motion or getting those things out of the way will somehow better our circumstances and change how we are living our dash, it gives us an often temporary sense of motivation. Rarely does it last more than a month or two. And then we beat ourselves up when we don't accomplish one or more of them.
But if we set intentions, we tend to change how we see the goals we are setting for ourselves. We tend to make them more realistic and seem to do better at reaching them because, for some strange reason, intentions make us feel less anxious than resolutions and therefore cause us to take a more relaxed (not to be confused with lackadaisical) approach to getting around to them. They become more like checklist items and less like graded assignments. I don't know... the way she explained it sounded way better and more concise. And typing this out, I can see where I might be missing that one something that really drives the point home. But I know in my head, it made perfect sense when she said it and it makes perfect since to me even still in this moment. Hopefully, I am conveying some degree of awareness that is causing you to nod your head in agreement rather than shaking your head because of the time you have wasted reading this nonsense. I mean, it really could go either way.
Amidst all of this, I have come to realize that the biggest and most common reason that people feel the need to create resolutions or intentions in the first place is...
can anyone guess?
Come on; take a stab at it. I bet you can do it if you really think about it. Anyone?
Bueller?
Bueller?
Okay, I'll say it for you. But you have to say it with me, okay?
It's called teamwork, peeps. Participation. It's a thing. Let's do it.
Ready?
Okay.
Here we go!
One... two... three...
.
.
.
.
.
Procrastination.
See? That wasn't so hard, was it? I mean, I say that now. But seriously, procrastination is THE single most talented culprit responsible for us feeling like we are always behind in life. I can whine and make excuses all day long for why I am not seeing the results I want with my health and weight management goals. But realistically, why am I not seeing those results? Did the doctors tell me not to exercise? Noooo. Do the people who stock the shelves at the stores purposefully hide all the nutritional foods that I need to bring my goals to fruition? Noooo. Does the ghost following me around everywhere keep me from making a list and checking it off? Noooo. So what's stopping me?
Well, I am.
Folks, I am so GOOD at procrastination that I have even been procrastinating with my intention to stop procrastinating. I mean, come on... not exactly the kind of legacy I want to leave behind. Ya know?
That's where discipline rears its pesky little head. I need to hold myself accountable. And that means accountable for all of my goals, not just my weight management. It's no one else's fault that I keep making the same "resolutions" every year. It's mine. Juuuust mine. I just need to get off my ass, stop making excuses, take better care of myself so I am not always tired, start managing my off-hours better so I am not always so pressed for time, and push myself to do things even when I know I don't feel like it. Everything has either a consequence, a reward, or both.
- If I don't go to work, my bills don't get paid and Rupert doesn't get fed... and I would lose my job. And my car. And my livelihood. [CONSEQUENCES]
- When I go to work, my bills get paid, my credit score goes up, and my dog gets to do his dolphin dance every time I carry his bowl full of food down the hallway. [REWARDS].
- If I don't eat right and stick to a gym/fitness regimen, I will feel like shit all the time, my body will age as non-gracefully as fuck, and I will lose my ability to live a healthy, long, and prosperous life. And I will be useless to anyone, especially Rupert. [CONSEQUENCES]
- If I do eat right and stick to a gym/fitness regimen, the opposite of all those things mentioned above will happen. And I will be happy(ier). [REWARDS]
- If I don't stop procrastinating in my everyday life, then I will continue to find myself making the same "resolutions" and "intentions" every single year, along with a host of excuses for why I am having to do so. And I will continue to blame the universe for cursing me into the body of a white girl with an insatiable desire to dance hip-hop without looking like a sack of potatoes rolling down a rocky slope.
By the way, if you have made it this far, congratulations. You must have either a boring life or nothing better to do today than sit and absorb my ramblings. Either way, you're a big bowl of awesomesauce and I love and appreciate you for caring enough to indulge me.
So peeps, I guess the moral of this long and winding story is this:
When you have the option to either:
(A) Procrastinate
(B) Not procrastinate
(C) Set obtainable resolutions but then procrastinate and stress about not executing them
(D) Make a list of realistic intentions and work comfortably-yet-diligently to bring them to life and not beat yourself up if it doesn't happen;
Always choose to just close your eyes, place your finger on a random place on a map, and then disappear there and tell the world to eat a turd. 😋
No, don't do that.
Seriously.
Choose D.
Because my boss said so.
💖 T
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